To Forgive Is Not To Forget.


To so many people that is probably one of the most daunting words on the face of this planet. And why is that exactly? Because forgiving somebody for what they have done means that you let go and move on. You have to realize that people make mistakes, and while some are intentional and some are not it is all the same; you cannot change them. Holding a grudge is literally wasting time and energy that can better be spent on something else. Forgiving somebody is such a daunting task to most people because we know that it means accepting that we do not have control over something in our lives, embracing that some things will happen to us with or without our permission, and still knowing in our heart that our reaction to the situation is the absolute last aspect that we can predict. Only you have the power to have the very last word in the situation.
You see the main problem for most people is that they are looking at the idea of forgiveness from the wrong angle. They see it through the lens of a bystander waiting on the sidelines for somebody else to fix the problem. They see it as something that can be changed by another person, but not themselves. Yet being able to forgive has absolutely zero to do with whether the person who hurt you is able to right their wrong, or apologize and prove to you that they deserve the forgiveness. Being able to forgive solelydepends on your attitude towards life and your ability to understand that holding a grudge will only do yourself harm, and nobody else. 

It might be a slow process, and I am definitely not one to judge when it comes to this subject, but I do know that we should have mercy on our brothers and sisters just as the Lord had mercy on us, even if they do not deserve it. Because I surely know I do not deserve it, and neither do you. But at the ultimate price, and as the ultimate gift, He still forgave us.

This means that we should work towards ensuring that our own hearts stay full and unbroken because we understand we cannot control others but we can control ourselves. Not only this, but to work towards instilling a sense of peace within ourselves that is not easily shaken by life’s bumps in the road and protects us from the termites of hate that can slowly eat away at our soul.

And in saying this, I fully believe that to forgive does not mean to forget.Knowing who to trust, what situations to avoid, and which people to take out or put into your life is a good thing. It comes with mistakes, practice, and by simply living life. It is a great thing to hold your ground and surround yourself only with people that lift you up, and avoiding keeping relationships with toxic people is healthy. But that does not mean that you have to have hate in your heart towards those that wrong you. For I can guarantee you they have been wronged before too…and if every single person that has been hurt before held a grudge against every single person that hurt them…well lets just say the world would be one terribly sad and vindictive place.


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