If there is one overarching theme to everything that I have learned in the past year, it would all be contained in the word positivity.
Positivity encompasses so much more than we initially think about. It isn’t simply a characteristic that everyone should strive to posses, or a part of your personality that somebody can put on a nice clean list of your attributes, but something so so much more.
That word literally characterizes happiness if you can fulfill it.
This is because it actually means letting go.
Life in itself is not positive. You are here on this earth to live, go through struggles, and die. Your here to try and defy the odds, hope for a better tomorrow, dread what is to come in old age, and try your best to gauge how much time is left on your clock in competition with how many items are left on that never-ending list of accomplishments still to be had. There is evil, sadness, and war everywhere you turn and somehow you are supposed to hold a positive mind set in order to make it through pretending your unscathed right? Wrong.
I now understand a positive mindset as an end rather than a means. It is not the vehicle in which you provide yourself with happiness but rather the end point to which you are trying to reach. The vehicle, I believe, is actually a concept that is much harder to accept and understand than simply saying “if I tell myself it’s okay I can force myself to believe it, right?”. The vehicle is the realization that you do not have control. You do not have control of what is done to you, the decisions other people make, and the situations that this might put you in.
But what you do have control over is what you decide to do with these experiences, people, and situations. And honestly, I don’t believe that simplytelling yourself that everything is okay and that you can move on is enough.
You need to conscientiously make the choice to sit yourself down and come to the realization on your own that no matter what happened to you, or what will happen to you in the future, your in the NOW.
The NOW is literally all that you can realistically deal with. As a human being it will be second nature to make up stories of what happened in the past, what might happen in the future, and create a web of dramaticism around your life.
It is the constant analyzation, the nit picking and the wondering of what could have been and what could be that kills us, that brings us down. This constant analyzing tears us straight out of the now and throws us into a place that we either can’t change or that does not yet even exist.
So practice sitting yourself down, bringing yourself into the literal moment that you are in.
Feel what you are feeling,
hear what you are hearing,
taste what you are tasting,
and appreciate what is around you to be appreciated.
And then leave it. Just leave it. Simple as that.
Knowing that you are where you are, your the congregation of your unchangeable past and there is absolutely no way that you can change that so you simply need to accept it…well it changes you.
It makes you “positive”.
It makes you calm.
And last but certainly not least, it makes you secure in yourself.