A friend recommended a book to me yesterday because she felt I would enjoy it after our many deep conversations. We have only known each other for a few weeks now after moving into the same tent, but feel like we have known each other for years. It is so great when you have a genuine connection with other’s and realize that it is not necessarily time but what is done in that time that defines a relationship. You can be with somebody romantically or be friends for years and in retrospect look back and see that you never pushed each other to be better, held each other to a higher standard, or even loved each other to your fullest potential. While that is an extremely scary thought, I like to look back at the relationships that I have had with others where I know I opened up, let them in, and although scary, gave that person a part of myself and trusted. Even if they are no longer in my life I will never be able to see those relationships as time lost.
It’s like one of my favorite quotes;
“Confidence comes from not always being right but not fearing being wrong.”
Although this is not a direct relation to the quote, I see that this statement can apply to every part of life. If you are not confident in your decision to fully open up to another being, you have this fear of getting hurt or being wrong about them. But how will you ever know that it won’t be beautiful until you try? Opening up to another at that point of rawness does open yourself up to hurt also. It isn’t always going to be sunshine and butterflies. It does hurt to care for others, because you feel for them. You hurt when they hurt and cry for them when they are crying. I ask God every chance I can to break my heart for what breaks his and to see the world with his eyes. Last time I came up here to the Colorado Rockies I learned how to let down that wall and let others in. To let emotion in, meaning the full weight of joy along with the full weight of sadness in the world. I can no longer look at a sad news story without feeling like I might burst into tears or see somebody suffering and turn a blind eye without a second glance. And that hurts. But it’s a good hurt. Because I’m not numb, and I feel the love that other’s offer with a much greater intensity. I am also able to embrace both with a much greater sense of gratitude and accept that both pain and joy exist in unison within the feeling of love.
So ask that person how they are doing today — and really mean it. Find out more about their story — and truly listen. Tell them about yours, open up your trust and let down guards for even one fleeting second and just naturally connect with another human being. Have confidence that in some way you can each contribute to each other’s well being, knowledge, or life path. It is absolutely beautiful. Now that my friends, is what true unabashedly felt love is. Romantic passion-filled love can only get you so far.
“But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.” – The Prophet, Khalil Gibran