Have you ever heard that saying that goes ”If your not happy single, you will never be happy in a relationship”?
It’s 100% true.
This is not to say “screw relationships” and discount them, because they are very fulfilling and worthwhile. They do teach you very many lessons and help you grow as a person also, but there is something about spending time alone when it is needed that really solidifies a person into their true selves. Who is constantly inside your head, hearing your thoughts, and spending the most time with you? Yourself. Thats right, when it comes down to it you will always be the closest to yourself. So why not make best friends with you?
One of the biggest problems of failed relationships are insecurities. Insecurities can drive people to do almost anything; whether that be not trusting one another, creating a reason for that mistrust, or even creating problems that never should have or truly existed in the first place. An insecurity can be the most minuscule thing, but sometimes the smallest are the ones that take up the most room in your heart. An insecurity is giving something else other than yourself the right to eat away at you and take away your control of your own life.
Most of the time, these are really easy to let get out of hand. The devil’s word is very seductive after all. But the active choice must be made to realize these things aren’t true, that you can be comfortable with yourself, and to actively reverse negative trains of thought into positive ones. It is not an easy task, and takes quite a lot of self-control, but I would definitely say it is worth it. For every moment that you are able to spend alone you are able to reflect on yourself, your goals, and your outlook on life. It is your time to establish yourself as a person, realize your potential, and be independent. Independence is something that should be celebrated in that as a person you are able to contribute much more to a relationship once you have taken care of yourself first. It makes you able to be unselfish and give what is needed to the person you are with without compromising what is also important for yourself to be happy.
So yes, sometimes being alone is the best thing, especially at the time when it seems the most impossible. Because those are the times that you are meant to grow in yourself and as a person. So spend time by yourself, on yourself, and simply with yourself. Its okay. At least until you can fully love yourself. Only then are you truly ready to love somebody else.